Friends, would you like to know the secret to having an amazing wedding day? The perfect graduation experience? How about satisfying deliveries of your babies, a stack of delightful birthdays and a collection of wonderful anniversaries?
Here it is.
Focus on what the day is really about: love. Turn your attention from trying to make it the perfect day for yourself (or wishing other people would make it the perfect day for you), and instead do whatever you can to make everyone around you comfortable and happy. That doesn't necessarily mean trying to please everyone, but it does mean being pleasant to everyone.
I have learned from experience. One Mother's Day a couple years ago I sank into the "this is supposed to be my day! I really want breakfast in bed but I don't want to have to ask for it...and what about chocolate and roses and not changing poopy diapers...etc." mindset, and I had a miserable day.
On the other hand I remember our wedding and reception being just perfect. I wore my sister's dress, didn't bother to paint my nails, and did my hair and makeup the way I usually do them (hey, he fell in love with that look so it works). Everyone who helped with the decorations and food made it amazing; maybe not exactly what I would have done if I could have done it all, but I was really glad I didn't have to do it all because I just wanted to enjoy being with my sweetheart! There were problems, as there always are: a tear in the dress, other things that I don't remember. We just laughed about them. We weren't picky, we were in love, and we wanted our family and friends to share the happiness.
That was an easy one though, because weddings are naturally happy and everything really was lovely for us. How about giving birth? You will hear people say, "it's all about you, mama. Make sure the midwife, doctors and nurses, grandparents and friends, your husband, other drivers on the road, the government, and the neighbor's parakeet do things exactly the way you want. Kick and scream, and make it happen." I chose to reject that attitude. For me it was all about having my babies, the miracle of giving someone life. It would be painful and I accepted that, in fact I looked forward to the opportunity to be strong. Like a runner going in to a marathon, I had chosen it and prepared for it and I was a little scared but mostly excited. I focused on making sure any older children were taken care of, making my husband feel loved and appreciated for his help, being positive to the medical helpers and sharing the sweetness of a newborn child (which is the sweetest of all sweetnesses) with everyone who loves us. With those goals, it has always been a joyful experience.
So next time you have a big day, think about this.
• Relax.
• Say "please" and especially "thank you!"
• Love people.
• Be happy.
It works.
